The ever changing details

My mantra during this whole process to learn patience has been simply “trust.” Well this evening I am finding that harder and harder. Every time there has been a delay I must remind myself that there is a reason for everything and maybe it is so we will be matched with our forever child. Unfortunately those little extra days here and there added up to weeks which now is going to drastically effect John’s work and mean that he must leave early to come home. Right now the big question is how early. Currently is boss says he must be back at work on May 14th. If this is the case he will miss court by 1 or 2 days. When I use “dad’s wisdom test” for if this will matter 10 years from now, I think it will. Court is the day that we, John and Karon become parents, and we want to share that as a whole family. Hopefully all this worrying will be for nothing. Right now we can not get a hold of her and tomorrow she is supposed to be in the field until 3pm. I just keep thinking of how much I want and need John for this day. I can handle the rest of the time by myself. It might not be easy, but I know I can handle it. I just wonder if husbands wives who are about to give birth must go through the same thing. I just wish there was some way to make people understand that adoptive parents have needs, wants and rights too. So until tomorrow….